Friday, July 30, 2010

Captivate ME

This week has been crazy! I was up every morning at 4 AM to work at Rick and Bubba because there was two other interns on vacation. Although it was busy and stressful at some points, I got to be around n amazing team of men who honestly and truly love the Lord. One of the days, it was amazing to see their humility in a situation. Speedy was searching "born again Christians". On this list was some pretty "famous" people in the world's eyes" Chris Rock, Chris Tucker, Jessica Alba(?), and then it went on to say "Rick Burgess" and "Bubba Bussey". They were in shock to be on a list of that type of people, and Speedy yelled and was like "Guys yall have to look at this! PLEASE!" We were on a segment break and both Rick and Bubba said, "It doesn't matter if my name is on that list, what matters is the big book!" They are truly instruments for the Lord and his purpose.

This summer, the Lord has taught me soooo much! It really has been amazing what He is doing in my life. I needed this summer i=to be stripped of all my busyness, no time schedule, to give everything to Him. I rely solely on Him and find myself needing to let go everything that "I" have planned. Here is a GREAT song that explains all of this:

Francesca Battistelli Lyrics – I’m Letting Go Lyrics

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

I am praying the Lord is still working in me, I am giving Him me, so that I can become His.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

A mighty fortress is our God

A Mighty Fortress

Our God is, a consuming fire,
A burning holy Flame, with glory and freedom
Our God is, the only righteous judge,
Ruling over us with kindness and wisdom

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You

A mighty fortress is our God
A sacred refuge is Your Name
Your Kingdom is unshakable
With You forever we will reign

Our God is, jealous for His own
None could comprehend, His love and His mercy
Our God is exalted on His throne
High above the heavens
Forever He's worthy...

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You

We will keep our eyes on You
We will keep our eyes on You
So we can set our hearts on You
Lord we will set our hearts on You!

Oh my! How these late posts are going to kill me! I always want to write late, when I have had revelations! I am loving this song by Christy Nockels. It is absolutely amazing. This summer has been so hard, I know, me, the always upbeat and positive person says that. But it really has, the Lord has been working in me, although, sometimes, it felt like He was working against me. I know that all my testing was coming for refinement. In Luke, Jesus, Peter, and our enemy Satan, were talking at The Last Supper. Jesus said to Simon (Peter), "Simon, Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you like wheat. And I am going to pray for you, Simon, that your faith will not fail and you will be strengthened." As a God fearing young woman, I was blinded by the fact that Satan comes to those who are running towards the Lord, those whose ways are blameless and pure. Satan wants to sift us and make us nothing, but the Lord has a plan in it all.

As I said at the beginning, this summer has been hard. It has been a wonderful summer, but it has been hard in the fact that the Lord is has refined me daily. Until tonight, I have realized all along that His plan for this summer was to totally get me stripped of everything. He wanted to make me, and mold me. And that He has done and will continue to do. I think a lot of my problem was pride in the fact I felt like I would never experience hardship as a Christian. I felt like if I did everything right, on the outside, everything in turn would be right on the inside. Oh, how backwards did I have it! And the Lord showed me that, through every scenario and situation I was faced with.

Also, my bible study that I am doing is teaching me so much about Job and his life. I use to read and hear about his life, thinking, "Wow, that really is a terrible act of Satan and I hope nothing like that opens to me!" Oh, me, how I have learned to not leave a door open for Satan. Here is a glimpse of the conversation that the Lord had about Job to Satan in the book of Job:

Then the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him. he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. Try him and seek him out, but, you cannot lay a finger on him."

The Lord was refining Job, showing him his pride about his life, his possessions, and his perfection of his flesh.

It is 2 AM and I am so burdened for those who are experiencing hardship without understanding. There is a God who loves you so much, He wants to refine you, not destroy you, just teach you and mold you into who He wants us as Christians to be.

The whole chapter of Psalm 119 is my life chapter, not verse. All 176 verses are my life verses. Each hold so much promise and security. I would write them all down, but it would be better to just look at it straight from the bible.

I am so thankful for this summer, I had so much free time and that is where the Lord really made me examine myself as a woman of His character. Although, I would not want to go through this refinement again, He is teaching me that to become more like Him, we must be tried and tested, be thought about and led.

"Search me, oh God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way of everlasting life."
Psalm 139:23

Thank you for reading and listening to what is on my heart.

Please be aware of the process of refinement and know that the Lord is in control, and though we walk through the shadow of death, we will not fear, for He is always beside us.

Place your life in His hands, :) for He is all we need!


Monday, July 12, 2010

"You are only as old as you think you are"

“I don’t pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.” Nick Sparks

While I have been getting up so early, on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I meet two other women to run. It is so great to have them to run with!

On those days, since I am done with running by 7, I go and meet my Grandfather at McDonalds with a group of his old friends. These friends of his are so wonderful to talk to. They are full of insight and advice, and eager to talk and ask me questions about life now for a young adult.

There is a couple there that is faithful to come every day they meet. Today, they were asking me about who I was dating and if he was a gentlemen...etc etc. The woman looked at me and said, "Honey, you honestly have to follow your heart, there is no other choice. My love came and picked me up off a corner of a street, literally." At first, I was almost in laughter, but I have to remember that she probably wasn't a woman who earned her living off the corner of a street, she meant something completely different. She told me the story right after that comment. She was meaning that one day, she was waiting on the street car and it wasn't coming fast enough, she said she looked distressed and a random car pulled up. She was scared at first until she said that the young man was around her age and told her, "Hey young lady, I'll take you where you need to go." Well, with the era she lived in, this was totally acceptable. She said she got in the car, and 63 years later, they have never been apart. As I am tearing up, I glance at the man whom she calls her husband. He was hunkered over in the chair, eating breakfast. He looked to be hardened and happy at the same time. She looked at me and said, "We are 96 and 95, but not a day over 60." I thought oh my word, you would never know. They are together in this race we call life. Through their illnesses, ageing, and life changing moments, they are together.

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

The man across the table commented, "You are only as old as you think you are!" All of them cracked up, but for me I thought how true that statement is.


Sunday, July 11, 2010

But God...

Good Evening/Morning!

I am usually not a late blogger, ever! I am normally in bed by now due to my early mornings with Rick and Bubba. But, I was doing my bible study, which is absolutely changing my life. Its called Becoming A Woman of Freedom by Cynthia Heald. It is truly changing my life each day.

Tonight, the lesson was on running with complete faith and trust, laying aside doubt and fear. The reason why I am blogging is the sentence, "But God." It is a simple, two letter word that is life changing.

The author is constantly stating that although everything is busy and unfulfilling on this earth, we can always say to our problems, "But God, He saved us." The study is concluding the chapter, but it is showing that though this life is hard, confusing, disappointing, we have the Lord. But God is always there, He is everlasting, the stronghold. He is our hiding place when we are fearful, and our confidence when we are doubtful. But God, He has pledged Himself as our defense, our refuge, our strength. But God has calmed the storm for many of His children, His believers who love Him with all their heart.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong through the Lord, my God."
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Always have a But God mindset in response to your shortcomings, your confusion, your doubts, and your fears.

"Those who trust God most are those whose faith permits them to risk wrestling with Him over the deepest questions of life. Good hearts are captured in a divine wresting match; fearful, doubting hearts stay clear of the mat. The commitment to wrestle will be honored by a God who will not only break but bless. Jacob's commitment to wrestle with god resulted in the wounding of his thigh. He would never again walk again without a limp. But freedom in his heart was worth the price of his shattered limb." *Dan Allende

Monday, July 5, 2010

"Caught in between 10 and 20, and I'm just dreaming, counting the ways to where you are"

I hope everyone has a great week! :)

"Sometimes things happen that you never saw coming & it completely takes you by surprise. The good thing is, it didn't catch God off guard. He knows everything. Therefore He knows how to help us get through the tough times in life that seem to crush us. Seek God in those moments."

These two lyric/quotes are my very favorite!

"100 Years" Five for Fighting

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Fashion Tips...

I love this hairstyle, it is so classy and chic looking.

I love this outfit!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

My hands are holding You

HAPPY 4th of July!

I am so sorry that I have not blogged lately, the internship and work at Noah's Park has consumed my time! I am totally loving to blog still, but nothing really happens during the week!

Life is good, but God is teaching me so much this summer. I have learned to fully rely on Him, in ANY situation. I think that having a year of college was hard, everything is so busy, and being home has given me a chance to have more time and get a steady quiet time. Every day, He is showing me how faithful His love is to me. It is unobtainable.

His timing is perfect, in every sense. But sometimes we so long to make our own time and say we want this now, we want to be happy now, we want everything in the now. But, the Lord is working and His now might not be tomorrow or next week. That is what He is teaching me. To always, no matter what, place my life in His hands. I wake up and I have to die to myself, I have to give my worries and requests to Him, and let Him handle EVERYTHING! Which is so hard, I want to be in control, but when I am in control, nothing is done for Him. It is all for my gain, not for His. So, I have learned that each day, it is a new battle, a new opportunity. Each and every day the Lord has my life in His hands. But its the first step, placing it in His hands, is where I fall short. If we only take that one little step, "Lord, you are in control, take me and mold me. You are bigger than my plans today, to you be all the glory." A song by Tenth Ave North is so are the lyrics...

By Your Side

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Why do we strive? Why do we fight?

He gives us life, that should be enough.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2

Sorry to get off on a tangent :)